Monday, May 25, 2009

smile.. no more

A smile,
is all i wish for

A smile,
which came so easily,
before you came into my life,
refuses to form,
now that you aint here.

A smile,
is just a mask now,
for the rolling drops.

A smile,
isnt much to ask for,
but yet i fear,
for you may not smile.

A smile.

The wrongs in me.

Waiting for you seemed wrong,
as wrong as loving you,
was never wrong.

I never knew the wrong,
was so right.
So right that doing the right thing,
seemed wrong.
The wrong,
was also wrong.

Two wrongs never make it right,
but two rights were wrong.
Loving you was never wrong,
You were never wrong.

Perhaps you were just not the,
Right one.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

bitter sweet

Waiting isnt hard,
convincing myself that you'l return is.
All my love,
forms a cloud in my head.
Leaving me unable,
to choose between two rights.

You were never wrong,
falling for you was never wrong.
Being with you was never wrong.
Loving you was never wrong

But, how does waiting for you seem wrong?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

MemOriEs Of a diStaNt paSt

Speaking to a friend who's very close to heart~ th 1st to comment on every blog :P~, made me realise the fact that India is a country any1 would fall in love with. Im a Malaysian and I dont look at myself as a NRI or a half indian or whatsoever. True, i speak tamil. and my anchestors were from Tamil Nadu. True that th traditions I adhere to are those from India. True that i am seen as an Indian.True that i have a soft spot for India and i stand up against anyone attempting to even say anything negative about India. BUT, Im a Malaysian at th end of th day~owh, im not even going to get to th racial problem in Malaysia at th moment~


Coming back to India. My 1st experience with India and Indian was when i went there to pursue my Degree~i was 19+. All alone in a foreign land. Leaving behind all familiar faces, known lanes, Uncles and Aunties, friends who meant th world to me, to live in a foreign land, amongst strangers. A country i had NO one in. A place i have never considered my own. A place where i was solely known by my looks and nothing else!


My 1st week was filled with deep regret and depression. But th Indian atmosphere is so colourful that it doesnt let you be down for too long. I made friends~ friends for life~though we may be oceans apart, they are th best set of people ive ever known. True, Indian friendship is different from th Malaysian friendship (yeah~ even friendship differs with th geographical location :P)


As time passed, I started Living life in India. My first experience at Independence~though i was still financially dependent :p~ I used to wonder why people fought for independence~ i no longer wonder~ I lived a life i couldnt have lived anywhere else. A life where i was known for who i am. Defined by solely my name and not my Fathers. Spent every day doing what i pleased without having to bother about anyone(no 1 knew my parents bck thr :P). My first brush with Pani Puri~a snack which i consider th greatest of all Snacks~


Pani Puri has been th one food i cant get enough of. I used to stay up studyin all night long before the exams(yeah, 1 day before th exam) and think of Breakfast At Bakery and Pani Puri's in th noon :). And always wanted to collect some Pani sample of th pani puri and agar plate it! Hell yeah, im sure th CFU will easily be higher that 10000~ and yet everytime, i gobble up a plate n wait for th cuka~i forgot how its pronounced ~


haih! i miss my bangalore~mind you, i dont miss th whole of bangalore or th whole of india! i just miss th Bangalore i know and th Indians i came across. Th indians gave me a new identity. Th indians made me believe in me! Th bangalore that has given me so much of independence, so much of love and joy, Th bangalore that has thought me how to love, and expect nothing in return. Th Bangalore i Love.


If I could return back to Bangalore, i Would. even if none of my friends are there anymore., i would go back to Bangalore! A place i call home, after th one in Klang. A place im familiar with. A place that puts me to ease. A place i dnt need to worry about anything. A place where i can walk and walk and walk, and not be alone..
A place where my Soul meets its match..