Wednesday, April 19, 2017

I'm here, Now.

Let me be,
I'm here now,
and that's all matters.

I asked for my share,
Air gave me breaths,
and a few more.

Conversing with solitude,
Heart whispered,
and now finish what you begun.

I do have to, don't I?
Over my grave,
and Inconsequential .

Nothing more,
Nothing less,
To ask for.

Let me be.

Friday, January 29, 2016

This too... shall..

Oh well,
Everyone moves on,
Everything will come to pass,
You too will darling,
You will emerge,
bruised, scathed, hurt and betrayed.

Some say if it doesn't kill you,
it only makes you stronger.
I disagree,
It kills small parts of you,
the wounds and scars masks,
the old you and turns you into,
a new person,
for better or worse, i know not.

But that's the price you have to pay,
for putting your heart out,
handing it to one so unworthy of it,
sometimes so wrong,
you don't know where it ends, nor starts.

Be calm, don't lose your peace,
for this too shall pass.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Day 2 : What’s something your parents used to say to you as a child that you promised yourself you’d never say—but now you catch yourself saying all the time?

So well, i wrote a whole long post and didn't click save :(
These are reasons why i dont blog for  long time. That heartbreak moment when you realise all your words were in vain.
But anyhoo, shanky is stronger that all of this.
I figured i'd write on this today, just cause.

What’s something your parents used to say to you as a child that you promised yourself you’d never say—but now you catch yourself saying all the time?

Its quite an emotional write to be honest. Ive never wanted children for 3 reasons.

1. Im selfish, i value my freedom more than i should, if i want kids.

2. They may turn out to be rotten apples

3. There were certain things/manner on which my parents brought me up that made me not want any of mine for the fear of repeating th same mistake.

That being said, my folks are lovely people, they've given me th freedom and confidence to do anything my heart wished for. They've given all of us, to their best capability, financial freedom.  They have given us so much love and care over all these years.

If i had to choose one thing i thought never say but i find myself saying now, it probably would be 'i know'. As a child it killed so many conversations and i stopped trying to put my point across because they'd always say i know and make me seem silly. I catch myself saying it sometimes and i always end up feeling quite terrible afterwards. Its something i constantly have to work on and i hope i never make anyone feel th way th 8 year old me felt that one day.

Moving on to a much lighter note.
Ms.SS said behenc**d. That woman cracks me up

Thursday, January 14, 2016

3 Happy things

Oh hello well..

My new years resolution for 2016 was to write more. And its been 14 days into the year already and its only now that i'm writing, at all (besides work related writing).
There are these chewies i got from Melbourne, its called 'The Natural' and on each wrapper there's sort of a riddle/question. One of them caught my eye, What are the 3 things that make you happy? People who know me, know that I value happiness over probably everything else. Its the one single thing that I pray for. SO well, i sat and thought hard about what are the 3 things i'm most happy about/ or that makes me happy.

1. Being happy makes me happy. really, its an oxymoron, i realize but the mere thought of being happy makes me forget my troubles :) Okay fine. I'll scratch that and restart from number 1.

Real No 1. Travelling. I love moving around. the very thought of staying still at one place scares me and it dulls my whole day whenever i have the misfortune of thinking about it. That probably is the reason why i often change jobs (coming to think of it, 3 jobs in 6 years isnt too bad), for the fear of remaining in the same place tad too long.

2. Praying. It gives me a sense of calm, peace and happiness. Especially after some really rough times. and that direct connection you feel with God, its  exhilarating.

3. Music. I remember reading somewhere, music really is like a drug. It invokes the feeling of happiness (or sadness) and never leaves you feeling alone. That emotion/chills you get when you hear that favorite part of a song, it has the power to make your whole day alright!

Besides these, being in love often makes one happy (with equal if not more parts of heartbreaks). And having amazing friends ( who are of the same wavelength as you) certainly makes one happy. Cooking and food in general too. Oh well, the list is indeed non-exhaustive.

So well, I asked the 3 people (who have the power to dictate how happy i am, 1 more that the other 2, because Reasons,) what made them happy.

Ms SS
Music, booze and travelling

Ms RPC
Hasnt gotten back to me, true to her being
Edit: true to herself, in a very commercial form (much like a beauty pageant reply), has just replied.
1. Making a difference (in people's live and in the world)
2. Reading a good book
3. Finding kindred spirits

So, leave a note on what makes you happy yea?

Thursday, June 26, 2014

10 Day. :)


Been ages I wrote anything other than my thesis. Probably forcing th 10 day challenge would work :D [or not :( ] But the harm in  trying right? But Langkawi on Saturday- Monday first!!!! And Tuesday, Experimental work starts, again.. Prolly Thursday? :D Heheheh