Tuesday, August 23, 2011

How would you define being Right or Wrong

I was blog hopping a while ago and happened to read a post by a guy of Malaysian-Indian descent. It went somewhat like this, The guy justifies slapping sense into his sister because she stayed the night out with her boyfriend and did not call home to inform the parents she'd be out. She apparently was out of contact for 36 hours prompting the family to lodge a police report. When she returned home finally she  acted as if nothing did happen, and well, rest is a whack and smack.

While i completely understand the rage this guy must have been in and also the concern for his sister, what irks me is that we (Indians) like hiding behind a decorum of culture et all.While it is terribly wrong for the girl to go off just like that, causing heartbreak to her family members, its also wrong for these brothers to whack th living daylights out of the girl and her boyfriend. How different are you in committing a sin as per compared to her? And if you're trying to hide behind upholding your name and respect in the community by whacking her, truly, the line is very thin between this and honor killing.

Its disturbing what some people would do for honor. While i agree about how one should lead life honorably, i disagree that any other person has the right to take away another's life. Who are you to judge, like really? And to quote Sara Bareilles 'Who died and made you the king of anything?'

There were also a few jokers bashing the guy and girl, saying how wrong it was to lie to parents, yada yada. It made me guffaw, how easily do words flow when you're on the the internet upholding 'honor'. Unless you're King Harishchandra I dont quite understand how you can judge the lady.

While im totally against young girls running off to marry their stupid-good for nothing boyfriends (who'd leave them after a couple of months),  i dont see the logic behind punishing the girl once its all done and over with. Honestly if she learnt nothing at all after life's lesson, you're trashing wouldnt do any good either. It'll probably just soothe you for a bit.

At that one moment of anger, perhaps all you can possibly think of is to physically abuse the other person and justify yourself by saying 'adikere kaithaan anaikum' (translates to the hitting hand cares). but if you take a minute and actually speak to the other person and well, offer enough understanding and trust, i believe matters can be solved in a much more ; honorable' manner

Im certainly not bashing the person for using his methods, as im sure he did that for the betterment of the girl and in her best interest, but its idiotic how sometimes, some people treat women like objects.

All that said, I'm glad i've been raised by parents who raised all 3 siblings equally, brothers who'd break bones of guys who tried acting funny with me, a friend, who respects women and loves his sister like how TR loves his sisters in all his movies.

Well, if youre the blogger or others who share his sentiments, do share your thoughts. And if you agree with me, gimme a high5 :)

Friday, August 19, 2011

Say no to Dowry?

I read a little poem earlier today. I dont quite enjoy reading poems as much as i like writing them.
I guess i enjoy the secrecy it offers me but i hate how it often secludes me when i read it.

The poem i chanced upon today was different. It was right smack in your face kinds. Yet it was soulful and it wasnt the open book-preachy types.


Wanted : a broom

when he said Darling
he didnt ask a paisa for anything
but when he said Marry me
he asked for gold
plates and pot
aiyo he even asked for a broom
to sweep th floor
I said
the broom's the limit
he got up and asked why

i said
so i can sweep you off my heart
and toss you into the trash

paying a life subscription
just to get a male hooker
what am i
or a total fool

- Chandrakanthi 

Dont ask, dont give. 

Saturday, August 6, 2011

A random note on Malaysians

So Rocky and I went jogging today :-p (This line has nothing to do with my post, im just happy ive started jogging :-D )

If you dont know already, I'm a 3rd generation Indian living in Malaysia, which makes me and the 2 generations before me automatically Malaysians. When people from outside look at us, they think wheat skinned, small eyed people are Malaysians ( People refused to recognize me as a M'sian when i was studying in Bangalore- that requires a post all for itself though!)
Well, no, to make it simple, the tagline four our country is 'Malaysia Truly Asia'- i dont quite know what the original interpretation was, but the way i see it, Malaysia is a country where you find all Asians residing in (as legal citizens) You'll find Malays, Chinese, Indians, Orang Asli (Indigenous people) and all other Asians here.

A multiracial society sure has its share of ups and downs. Even in a country where everyone belongs to the same race, there is division in caste and community, so im pretty sure you can imagine how much drama a nation filled with Rojak (mixture of this, that and everything) has.

We love each other. We loathe each other. A lot can be said about the pet peeves we have, on the other races, and negative stereotypes attached. But why focus on the bad when there is so much goodness around? There are many qualities in the other Malaysians that i admire,

I admire the manner in which the Malays are respectful to elders. When they are young they are taught to bow and kiss the hands of elders.

I admire how friendly the Chinese are. Whenever im out jogging, they smile, and spare a few minutes chit-chatting before we run off in our paths.

I admire how helpful the Indians are. If they consider you a friend (which isn't too difficult, a few smiles would do) they'd do anything for you. Emotional fools you may say, but that's how we roll :-p

The Orang Asli's have a lot to teach us all about patience, acceptance and living harmoniously! The moment you step into Sabah/Sarawak, you are treated as one of them. (After all, they've given the M-C-I their' land and are now living like visitor)

Again, this may not apply to everyone. There are some rotten apples but we need to let go of our Ego and embrace our differences  to continue living in harmony. I love my country and even with its scars and holes, i'll proudly call myself a Malaysian.

This is a video I love, depicting Malaysia in all true senses! Its funny, sensitive and Truly Malaysia :-)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Kalyanam aka Marriage

I was at the temple a couple of days ago. For the uninitiated, the temple really is a place for worship! Although Aunties and Uncles may use it as a gossip vehicle, Boys and Girls as a perfect flirt ground, Kids and Babies to run and yell respectively. After hours of prayers and prasadam, i was caught in the midst of a A&U gossip.

It started of with the customary exchange of information; i am looking for a bride/groom for my son/ daughter and it strayed to why men should marry girls at least 10 years younger to them. The debate (rather knowledge imparting) was honestly mind numbing and if i could i'd have said you're insane and walked off. But like a nice girl i nodded and smiled.

And Mr.C (so as to protect his identity), thinks i agree with what he says. So, he decides to offer more insight onto why th e age gap has to exist. Apparently his parents had a 16 year gap, and they lived happily ever after. And some couple he knows of, belonging to the same age bracket, were divorced. So, conclusion, > age gap = > happiness

Apparently with the age gap, there's lesser ego (please note that age gap mean the guy is older than the girl!) and the Lady would have to be dependent on her man and thus be more 'adjusting'. And so they'll live happily every after.

I haven't heard of a statement more bewildering than that in a long time! Isn't education supposed to liberate one? And what is the point of being educated when you have to still rely on someone else for all the decisions? Putting two heads together to decide is something else (and well, should perhaps be the right way). Also, just because you can adjust and stay married, it doesn't mean you're happy inside. Whats the point of living if you cant live happily? Just because the lady decides enough is enough that doesn't make her an egoistical b*atch, does it?

With all due respect to Mr.C mother, i dont quite think age gap is as necessary as understanding between the couple. I'm 25, unmarried (i'm too young to be anyway) and i'm semi-independent , which probably means i dont have much say about marriage, but i certainly know something from what i've heard of.

Love, care, understanding, and to be able to adjust certainly is important ;-)

So as to reinstate my believe on Marriage ( my parents have the happiest married life i know of, yes they do fight occasionally, but that makes the cuter!) i'll sign of with this song ;-)